It’s true, sleep deprivation and parenthood sometimes go hand-in-hand. As our
pediatrician friend Dr. Robert Minkus told us, “There’s no easy way around
sleep deprivation at the beginning.” This is especially the case if you have a
newborn, who typically wake an average of three or four times each night.
IN THIS ARTICLE:
What is
Sleep Deprivation?
Even
though most babies start sleeping a six-hour stretch by three or four months,
there’s still night-feedings and other disturbances. All of these add up and before you know it
you’re suffering from lack of sleep, otherwise known as sleep deprivation.
What Can Sleep Deprivation Cause?
Sleep
deprivation can make you grumpy, forgetful and clumsy – many parents report
they struggle to focus, cannot remain on task at work and relationships can
suffer too.
You may be wondering, then, “How do parents deal with sleep deprivation?” Here we share expert tips and techniques on coping with sleep deprivation with a newborn and beyond.
If
you want to learn more on how to maintain a healthy sleep schedule, consider the
Smart Sleep Coach by Pampers™ app
. Easy-to-use and science-driven, it offers both
insights on how to rest while raising your baby and creates a
personalized sleep training plan that matches your baby’s habits and your parenting style.
Tips for Coping with Sleep Deprivation
1. Prepare Ahead of Bed
2. Share the Load
3. Say “Yes” to Help
4. Try Not to Overcommit, it’s ok to Say ‘No’
5. Take a Night, or Two, Off Cooking
6. Offer a Feed Right Before Bed
7. Consider a Dream Feeding
8. Be Kind to Yourself
9. It’s Okay to Cry
10. You’re Not Alone
1. Prepare Ahead of Bed
To make things a little easier for yourself at night, get all your night gear
ready before bed.
If
you know you’ll need to make a bottle at night, consider having your formula
measured and the water at temperature in a thermos, so when your baby wakes you
can make the bottle right away. Also smart to keep a diaper, wipes etc within arm’s reach - that
way there’s less thinking at night and more doing, you take care of your baby’s
business and get back to bed as seamlessly as possible!
Pro tip: Keep the lights low, use a quiet voice (if
you need to speak at all) and that will help keep your baby in the land of
slumber during feeding and diaper changes.
For
more on how to prepare your baby for bed,
the Smart Sleep Coach by Pampers™
app
offers
pediatrician-approved tips, techniques, and training methods that will help you
and your baby sleep better in a week or less.
2. Share the Load
One
excellent solution is for one parent to take one night, while the other takes
the next. Or you can break the night into shifts - one parent takes the
10pm-2am shift, the other takes 2am-6am.
However
you choose to slice it up, pooling your parental resources ensures your baby’s
well cared for and that both parents get the rest they need to be better
parents and partners.
If
you’re a single parent, consider asking a best friend or trusted family member
if they can take a “night shift” every so often. Even once a month would go a
long way in helping you catch up on sleep.
But
it’s okay if this isn’t possible. There are plenty of other ways to survive
sleep deprivation.
3. Say “Yes” to Help
There
are few times in your life when neighbors and friends will sincerely ask “Can I
do anything to help?” Having a new baby is one of those times, and you should
definitely say “yes.” And, guess what? That “anything” can be time!
If
you need an hour or so to yourself, it’s entirely okay to ask your bestie or a
family member or even a trusted neighbor to hang out with your baby. It’s also
cool to ask a grandparent to babysit while you take a nap or change a diaper –
first, they’ll probably be thrilled; and, second, this gives you guilt-free -
and potentially cost-free - quiet time without hiring a babysitter.
Taking
some time for yourself doesn’t make you a bad parent. It provides an excellent
time to recharge and recenter yourself so you can get back to being the great
parent you already are - trust us, if you weren’t a great parent, you wouldn’t
be researching this information in the first place.
It’s
important to us that you’re supported and rested and happy, which is why we
created
Smart
Sleep Coach by Pampers™ app
. This easy-to-use app aims to help you
establish healthy sleep habits for your baby, so you, your baby and your family
can all get more rest!
4. Try Not to Overcommit, it’s ok
to Say ‘No’
In
normal times you may be the go-to for bake sales, neighborhood meetings, or
other non-family obligations. Well, these aren’t normal times: you’re a new
parent with a to-do list a mile long and probably very little sleep.
If
you’re a parent to a newborn or toddler and someone asks a favor, it’s okay to
say “no.” Does your older kids’ school need a chaperone for a zoo trip? Sorry,
you’re busy. Is your library having a bake sale? Oh well… You can contribute
another time in another way.
For
now, you have your baby and yourself to take care of, and that’s your most
important priority at the moment. The bake sale will be there next year.
5. Take a Night, or Two, Off Cooking
If
you’re sleep deprived and too exhausted to cook, it’s okay to have a frozen or
fast-food meal here and there. It may not be the best-tasting or healthiest
meal you’ve ever had, but it provides energy to keep going, and sometimes
that’s all that matters in times like this. Embrace it and think of this as an
opportunity to indulge in something you wouldn’t typically eat.
It’s
alright to have a quick and easy meal to save time and energy. The sleep you
gain will be far more valuable to you than one homemade meal.
6. Offer a Feed Right Before Bed
What’s better than
“sleeping like a baby”? “Sleeping like a well-fed baby.” If you can, and your
baby will eat, we recommend “topping them off” with their last feed shortly before setting them down for the
night. This will help them sleep for a longer stretch at night.
It is important to
give them a full feed, but not to feed or nurse them to sleep. You want to be able to set them down drowsy
but awake with a full belly, ready for a good night of slumber.
7. Consider a Dream Feed:
If
your baby is waking up to eat a few hours after you’ve put them down, dream
feedings are another excellent way to keep your baby well-fed and sleeping well
and for you to boost your sleep, too.
A
dream feeding is when you gently rouse but not wake your baby and offer them a
feed. Research shows this method is most effective if you dream feed between
10pm and midnight. Learn more about Dream Feeding here.
8. Be Kind to Yourself:
Seriously. Feeling
tired or needing a break does not make you weak. It doesn’t make you a bad
parent, person, or anything negative at all. It’s entirely normal and natural.
And, actually, it means you’re doing parenting right: you’re attentive and
caring and devote tons of time to your baby and family. You rock!
You’re also a human
being who has biological needs and deserves kindness. It may sound silly or
cheesy, but simply pausing and saying, “I’m strong and capable enough to thrive
through this,” can really boost your mood. And it’s 100% true: you are strong
and capable and
will thrive through his!
And remember, as
frustrating as sleep deprivation may be at times, there are so many glorious
rewards ahead. You just have to get through this one relatively brief hump -
and you will!
9. It’s Okay to Cry
Sometimes you hit a
wall. It happens. You’re overwhelmed and all you want to do is cry. We say, “Go
for it!” Trust us, you wouldn’t be the first parent to go to the bathroom, turn
on the faucet, and let the water works flow. This myth that we all need to be
strong all the time - it’s just that: a myth. As the saying goes, it’s okay to
not be okay!
Plus, crying is good
for you: Crying releases endorphins and oxytocin, two natural hormones that
help relieve tension and sadness. Releasing that frustration and sadness will
be cathartic, providing emotional bandwidth for you to enjoy more quality time with
your baby.
You’re Not Alone:
When all else fails –
when you’ve tried everything and still feel burned out or exhausted or
completely overwhelmed, keep in mind that there are
millions of other parents out there who are also drained and
exhausted. This isn’t to diminish your personal experience – instead think of
it as solidarity. You are not alone!
Also, there are dozens
of excellent online communities where you can discuss, vent, or rant about your
sleep deprivation – and the other users will empathize immediately.
How to Optimize Your Sleep While Sleep Training
Sleep training a baby can leave already exhausted parents even more sleep deprived. To help you out,
here we discuss how to optimize your own sleep when Sleep Training.
Create a Perfect Sleep Space For You:
-
Quiet: Turn off the
television, silence your phone, and do anything else you can to make your room
as quiet as possible before bed.
-
Dark: Darkness helps
maintain a healthy circadian rhythm by releasing serotonin, a natural chemical
that promotes healthier sleep. The darker your room, the better you’ll sleep.
-
Cool: Data shows that most
adults - and babies - sleep best in a room that’s between 68-72 degrees.
- Sound Machines: It’s amazing how different ‘noises’ such as brown noise, white noise and even pink noise can encourage deeper sleep and boost memory, which is definitely a plus if you’re a sleep deprived parent.
(
Bonus tip: Make sure the volume’s not too high – first, high volume reduces the noise’s
effectiveness; second, it may drown out your babies’ cries at night.)
And
while you’re looking for ways to make the sleep training experience a bit
smoother, check out the
Smart
Sleep Coach by Pampers™
. It’s an easy-to-use,
science-based app that creates personalized sleep plans that work for any
parenting style and any baby.
How to Maintain Healthy Sleep with a Newborn or Baby:
-
Drink Water: Avoid coffee in the
afternoon and alcohol before bed - both compromise healthy sleep patterns.
Get some daylight: This may seem
counterintuitive, but exposure to bright daytime light improves your circadian
rhythm and can increase sleep by 2 hours each night.
No screen time: Avoid smartphone or TV
screens two hours before bed, because they emit a blue light that wakes the
brain. But, if you can’t resist a pre-sleep
check of your social feeds, try blue-blocking glasses.
Meditate: If you can, reserve
10-15 minutes before bed to simply relax. Do some deep breathing or simply lay
with your eyes closed and think of something soothing, like the ocean or a
forest. Taking this time to relax your mind goes far in reducing anxiety and
stress before it’s time to nod off.
Sources:
“Normal sleep patterns
in infants and children: a systematic review of observational studies,”
Sleep Medicine
Reviews.
“Is Crying a
Self-Soothing Behavior?”
Frontiers in Psychology.
“Drowsy Driving,”
CDC.
“17 Proven Tips to
Sleep Better at Night,”
Healthline.
“7
Midnight Snacks That RDs Say Can Help Lull You Back To Sleep,”
Well+Good.
“What
Is Dream Feeding?...And How Do I Do It?,”
Happiest Baby.