The Cry It Out method, often referred to as the extinction method, is one of the most misunderstood sleep coaching methods – it’s also often the most effective. In this article we'll explain what the Cry It Out method is, how to do the Cry It Out method, why Cry It Out is safe, and how you can get started sleep training using Cry It Out, or one of the many other methods, today.
If you’re looking to get support with sleep training and don’t know where to start, take this free sleep assessment and download the Smart Sleep Coach by Pampers app. You get a personalized sleep plan along with step-by-step guidance (from yours truly) on how to improve your baby’s sleep and help them become strong independent sleepers.
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What is Cry It Out?
There is a common myth that all sleep training means Cry It Out, however this is simply not the case. CIO or Cry It Out, also known as the extinction method of sleep training, is just one of many different approaches to sleep training.
“Cry It Out” is a colloquial term for a sleep training method in which you meet all of your baby’s needs – feeding, a clean diaper, cuddles – and then, after completing your bedtime routine, place them in their crib sleepy and calm but awake and give them the space and time to settle themselves to sleep. As long as they're safe, you let them fall asleep without entering the room then greet them at their wakeup time the next morning.
Since this may be different to what they are used to at bedtime, such as being fed or rocked to sleep, they may not like it at first – and protest by crying.
Even though there may be a lot of crying for a few days, Cry It Out is 100% safe – and very effective. In fact, it is most often the fastest way to help your baby become a strong independent sleeper. Your baby already has self-soothing powers within them – they naturally know how to calm themselves and go back to sleep. The Cry It Out method helps them tap into that power faster than other sleep methods.
It’s also important to keep in mind that habit change is hard. No matter which sleep training method you choose, all typically involve some level of crying. Often the higher parental intervention methods, known as gentle sleep training, can escalate crying as your baby doesn’t understand why you aren’t ‘doing what you used to do’ to help them get to sleep.
Many healthcare providers and health authorities don't recommend leaving your baby to cry for long periods of time, which is why often time gradual extinction methods like Ferber method are commonly recommended as well.
What Is the Best Cry It Out Age?
Many sleep consultants recommend the CIO method for babies 8-months and older for a few reasons.
- At 8-months your baby understands object permanence, which is the fact that you continue to exist even when they can’t see you. This can make it hard for them to understand what’s happening when you come in and out of the room to reassure them and leave again and can serve to escalate the protesting.
- By 12-months and beyond, many sleep habits and ‘wants’ become behavioral, or habits. Also, after their first birthday, your baby’s ability and stamina to protest over something increases with age, too. Breaking sleep habits at 8-months is easier when delivered in a more black and white fashion, like CIO.
- By 8-months, parents who choose to sleep train are often so tired after months of sleep deprivation, which can make it hard to consistently deliver higher involvement methods night after night, waking after waking. Since consistency is needed for success, a method like CIO is easier to stick with as it can as fast as a week. Unlike a method like Chair method, which can take 3-4 weeks.
That said, you can start sleep training using your preferred method around 4-months age adjusted, as long as you got the all-clear from your healthcare provider before starting. Sleep training a toddler also can be easier with CIO.
If you're unsure about the Cry It Out method, many parents see success with an alternative method such as Ferber (gradual extinction), Pick Up Put Down, or Chair method at that age.
Does Cry It Out Hurt Babies?
Cry It Out does not hurt babies. In fact, Cry It Out sleep training is a great way to support your baby's healthy sleep and get them the rest they need to grow and thrive.
When using CIO, you always make sure your baby is safe, fed, clean, and ready for sleep before you leave the room. Their crying is simply the go-to form of communication and during Cry it Out sleep training, they are frustrated that you're not giving them what they want – which could be to rock, feed, or hold them while they sleep.
Luckily, your baby’s cries become more distinct as they grow. You will be able to differentiate between their types of cries – whether they are tired or hungry, bored, or frustrated.
How Do I Do the Cry It Out Method?
To begin Cry It Out, follow these steps:
- Create a Sleep Nourishing Environment: We lay out the steps here to create the perfect sleep environment – the Smart Sleep Coach by Pampers™ app can walk you through the process, too. An overview is you want to make sure your baby's room is dark, the ideal temperature, and has a noise machine.
- Create a Calm, Consistent Bedtime Routine: A calming bedtime routine is the set of actions you do before bed that calms your baby and creates a recognizable pattern that will start to cue them it’s time to sleep. Most importantly this routine gets them ready to sleep but not yet asleep, and doesn’t include feeding (that should be separated from sleep and done before bedtime).
- Put Your Baby Down Sleepy But Awake: The best bedtime for babies depends on their age, nap schedules, and personalized sleep needs – this is why we recommend a smart schedule app. If your baby’s wake windows are aligned with their sleep schedule, they usually become more sleepy as the bedtime routine goes on. If they show sleepy cues before bedtime, start the routine earlier. You want to put your baby down before they’re completely asleep.
- Leave the Room: Once your baby is put down on their back in their crib, give a quick goodnight and leave the room so they have the space and time to settle themselves to sleep. If they wake in the middle of the night you still don’t enter the room and let them settle themselves back to sleep. Wait until their usual wakeup time to reenter their room, usually between 6-7am. There are very few exceptions as to why you can enter the room before morning, for example if your baby rolls to an unsafe position or has been sick – otherwise this method is all about letting your baby ‘do it themselves’.
How Long Does Cry It Out Take?
Typically, based on the experience of sleep consultants and expert studies, when consistently delivered (meaning a parent does not enter the room after leaving their baby sleepy but awake) CIO takes between 3-5 days to begin working and often can fully resolve sleep in 7-10 days. It’s the fastest and most consistently effective method for sleep training.
Why is Cry It Out Best for Naps?
Regardless of which sleep training method you use at night, CIO sleep training is the best bet for nap time because:
- naps are shorter and you therefore have less time to perform a longer sleep training process.
- melatonin production during naps is lower, which means your baby’s sleep drive is lower than at bedtime, meaning they have more energy to protest. (Read more on the science behind sleep training)
- your presence at nap time may stimulate your baby and counteract their ability to sleep.
What if Cry it Out Stops Working?
While your initial CIO sleep training effort can work wonders for sleep at a specific moment in time, sleep training itself is a process that requires sporadic re-engagement as your baby grows and their sleep patterns change.
For example, as your baby grows they drop naps and their wake windows get longer which can throw off sleep and make it harder to fall asleep at their usual bedtime or stay asleep overnight. Revising sleep training can help get them back on track. Additionally, periodic “ sleep regressions ” and disruptions from travel, teething, or illness can cause you to accidentally introduce new sleep habits or crutches, like holding your baby if they wake in the middle of night then transferring them back to bed. Restarting CIO can help break that habit quickly.
Separately, if Cry It Out stops working and you think it's because your baby needs a different sleep training approach, download the Smart Sleep Coach app and take its method questionnaire to find a new option that may work better. All babies are unique and may respond to sleep training differently.
Final Thoughts
There are many approaches to sleep training ranging from high parental involvement to low parental involvement and Cry It Out is the lowest. For many babies, an extinction method works best by limiting distractions and allowing them to figure out how to self-settle quickly. That said, it's not for everyone and there are many other approaches that limit crying and still lead to results – just in a longer period of time.
Sleep training can be re-started if your baby stops falling asleep independently or suddenly struggles with frequent wakeups. This is common throughout baby and toddlerhood as sleep patterns change and regressions pop up.
Whatever sleep training approach you choose, remember you need to remain consistent and patient – with time, your baby will tap into their natural power to fall asleep independently and you will start to catch up on your much deserved rest.
